Grim vs. Mom/Transcript

Billy: Six, seven, eight. "Go to the big house." Yeah! I win! I win! I can't believe it! I won! It's mine. It's mine. Look, Mandy. Look what I've got. I'll bet you're jealous. Look at you. You're so jealous that your eyes hurt so much... that they're about to explode on the inside... leaving you physically scarred... like some pus-filled monster blinded for life... from the jealousy you have for me! In fact, all the smartest scientists in the world wouldn't be ab--

Mandy: It means you go to jail.

Billy: What? Go to Jail!? I don't want to go to jail. You mean, I don't get a big house?

Harold: Don't worry about it. I'll get it. Honey. You're back. Are you feeling okay?

Gladys: I'm wonderful. Never been better! I just needed a little vacation after my skeleton episode!

Harold: Dear, there's someone I'd like you to meet. [introduces Gladys to the Grim Reaper.] This is Billy's friend, George..., or Grimy or something.

Gladys: Please to meet you, Grim.

Mandy: This food looks mediocre.

Gladys: Why, thank you, Mandy. So how was school today?

Billy: You'll never guess what happened. This kid has this special... ...but she didn't listen. He took one bite and spit it all over this wall. Everyone started laughing at him. The janitors tried to scrape it off, but couldn't!

Mandy: Billy says it was OK.

Gladys: Mind your manners. Please ask for someone to pass the salt.

Grim: Mandy, could you please pass the salt?

Billy: So then one janitor said, "This looks like a tough one." So all the kids started eating it off the wall. After, all the kids got sick, but not me... and I even went for seconds. I guess I showed them.

Gladys: We don't put our elbows on the table.

Mandy: I still think your mom's cracked.

Grim: Like the back end of a plumber. Honestly, man, I think the woman has it out for me.

Mandy: Look, Billy someone's scared of your big bad mom. Grim's about as grim as one of those marshmallow bunnies.

Grim: Cut that out! I don't know what you're talking about.

Billy: Grim's a big baby, Grim's a big baby

Grim: You're both being obnoxious. I am not scared of Billy's mom. That's preposterous! To think that I would be terrified of anybody's mother. But that's just lame. I'm going to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Gladys: Hello, Grimy. I've been waiting for you. It's payback time for chasing me out of my house!

Grim: But...

Gladys: Stay away from my baby! He's allergic to the undead.

Grim: Madam, I don't think you understand... Do you know where that mop has been!? Foolish mortal! I don't think you know who I am. Let me give you a hint. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee.

Gladys: Let's kick it up a notch!

Grim: You almost hit me with that! Now, was that really necess--? Come on! Is that your best shot? What happened? Who turned off all the...

Billy: Mom? What's going on?

Gladys: I'm afraid your friend Grimy had a bit of an accident. I was trying to help poor Grimy pull himself together. Perhaps you and Mandy can help Grimy into the garbage can.

Mandy: Alas! Poor Grim. I knew him, Billy.

Grim: Shut up! Give me that!

Mandy: Billy's mom sure did a number on you.

Grim: She may have won the battle... but she has not won the war!